412: Bottle Head

Grumpy Old Geeks. A weekly talk show hosted by Brian Schulmeister and Jason DeFilippo discussing the finer points of what went wrong on the internet and who's to blame. Welcome to Grumpy Old Geeks. I'm Jason DeFilippo.

And I'm Brian Schulmeister. A little follow-up, Brian, in our quest for the little man in the gig worker economy. Instacart workers win historic union election. Woo! All right. So, so far we have the food people at Google and the food collectors at Instacart.

Apparently you have to work in food to get unionized in tech. That's right. A whopping, a whopping 14-person vote was held. And it was 10 to 4 in favor of the union, according to the workers. And they say, the overwhelming majority of the employees made history by becoming the first Instacart employees to win a certified union election in the United States.

Boy, that's, that's really, really drilling down on history right there. So I'm telling you, let's pinpoint that one right there. And this comes from UFCW Local 1546 in a press statement. So, okay. All right.

Instacart has come back and said, Instacart cares deeply about all members of our community, which includes in-store shoppers who are part-time employees. Okay. We will always support employee freedom and choice, and we respect our employees' rights to explore unionization. Yeah, right there.

Explore unionization. Not actually unionizing. Right. Pending certification of the election results, Instacart will honor the outcome of this election and the decision of these 15 part-time employees. So apparently one person abstained from the vote. In Skokie, Illinois, to choose union representation.

We will then begin the process of negotiating in good faith on an initial collective bargaining agreement that covers this location. While today's election only affects in-store employees assigned to this store, we remain committed to providing the best experience for all customers and employees.

All right. Well, okay. Wow. Groundbreaking. I know. Fifteen people in Skokie, Illinois. They wanted to sit at the front of the bus. All right. We'll see what happens. Maybe this will lead to more people doing it, which would, in my opinion, be a good thing.

We'll see. Yeah. We'll see how it goes. So we talked last week about how Google changed their ad results page, you know, so it – and everybody got all crazed about it because, oh, my God, how are we supposed to know it's an ad other than the little thing that says ad right next to it?

Yeah. You know, and I just – you know, I think you and I both feel – we all live on the internet now. We've all been on the internet for long enough. We've all gotten enough emails from the prince of Nigeria telling us to send money. We need a little personal responsibility here.

It's time to grow up a bit and know what's going on. And, you know, you can't just – you can't just willy-nilly go about the internet these days. You need to understand that everybody's trying to trick you and everybody's trying to sell you something and everybody's trying to track you. It's time to grow up.

It isn't some technical utopia. It never was. But it definitely isn't anymore. And, you know, put your thinking cap on when you open up the browser. It's personal responsibility here, people. But I like this story over at the New York Times. I was going to put this in more on of the week, but I felt a little bit bad for this guy.

But not bad enough not to call him out right now. A couple of weeks ago when Dan Schur was searching on Google for information about butchering meats, he did something he had avoided for 20 years. He unknowingly clicked on an ad. Oh, my God. Cue my home alone face. Now, here's the kicker.

Mr. Schur, a consultant who helps companies manage where they appear in Google searches. Uh-huh. Yep. Yep. He does this for a living. He does it for a living. Yes. Had always thought it was easy to distinguish between paid search results and unpaid links.

Mr. Schur, it still is. Mr. Schur, are you sure? Yes. So, yeah, I just couldn't quite believe this. He said, I felt dumb because I had never clicked on an ad before, said Mr. Schur, 40, the owner of Evolving SEO, a consulting firm in Worcester, Mass, that probably won't be in business too much longer because you went in a national paper explaining that you don't understand your own business.

Yes, I do believe it's pronounced Worcester, Worcester, Mass. Yeah, I'm not from that part of the world, and even that Super Bowl commercial didn't help. So, here's the thing about this. I think Mr. Schur, who is 40, and the owner of Evolving SEO, a consulting firm in Worcester, Mass, this is clickbait.

He got his company out there by getting this article out there. I suppose if we believe there's no such thing as bad press, then that is true. However, to me, this, again, like I said, states that you do not understand your own business. Well, that is 90% of business owners on the internet.

I'm sorry. Especially when it comes to SEO. Gee, mini crispy. Yeah, talk about charlatans and snake oil salesmen for the most part. There are a few good ones out there. There are a few good ones. Google is apparently walking back their design changes, although I haven't seen anything different yet.

So, they may just be making a statement that they're walking back their design changes and never do it, which is kind of what tech companies tend to do. We shall see. They basically stated that they're trying to make their desktop search look more like their mobile search. But that's definitely not true because the mobile search is far clearer about which are ads and which aren't.

So, a little bit of bullshittery there. But still, again, people... A little bit of bullshittery, yes. People put on your thinking caps when you load up the browser. It's really not that hard. It's not. It's not that hard. And, you know, maybe the ad that you're seeing is actually what you need.

Yeah, it often is. There's always the possibility that the person that you're trying to reach is actually the one that bought the ad to get in front of your face. So, yeah, I don't know. I think the whole thing is kind of, as I used to say, a tempest in a teapot.

Right. But, so, I actually did a bunch of searches this week. Speaking of that, I was shopping for a teapot the other day and I clicked on the ad and got exactly what I wanted. Hopefully, it's the Breville tea maker because that thing is the best in the world. Oh, I love that thing. Hashtag not an ad. Hashtag not an ad.

No, Breville does not pay me for that. I wish they did because those teapots are freaking expensive. Anyway, I saw this one over at RadioInc.com. Did BMI give radio the okay to play music in podcasts? Well, Betteridge says it all.

No. Nope. No, they did not. They kind of did with a little bit, but not the whole license for, you know, putting a podcast. If you own a radio station, you have a BMI license, you know, and probably have an ASCAP license and all the other licenses that you need to have.

But does not cover a podcast. Only covers playing on the radio. Can I also just point out that if you were a podcast on the radio, you're actually on the radio. If you're not a podcast, you're not a podcast. I have been saying this for seven years now.

It's called a rerun. It's not a podcast. It's called a fucking rerun. Hello, all NPR podcasts. Yes. Thank you. It's called a fucking rerun. But the article at the very end says, for now, the safest bet is to avoid playing music in podcasts.

That way you are guaranteed to avoid any copyright violation issues. So here's the deal. If you want to play music in your podcasts, pay for it with a proper license. You know, just go straight to the musician. And that's generally the best way to do it. Like the music in this show right now is created by Brian Schulmeister and his band Slender Fungus.

No, Among Us. My company was Slender Fungus. Oh, Among Us. Speaking of that, I did see in here a little thing here. Podcasters that want to add a song to their show as bumper music only leading into their content will have to pay between $10 to $20 per episode for a license. If you record four episodes per month, that'll cost you between $40 and $80 per month.

That is only for podcasters who fund under 5,000 downloads per episode. We have significantly more than that or more than double. So I will expect my checks any day now, Jason. Kiss my ass. You ain't getting squat. You already get half. Kiss. Actually, you do get your check every month.

There you go. There you go. Andy Stachansky is not getting a check, though, who wrote our outro music because he was drunk and he gave it to us for free. That's true. In the news. I ran across a really interesting article over on Slake by Susie Armitage called The Help.

And it's about the gig economy apps and how they affect more than the economy. They're changing what it means to be a friend. This is right in line with our unintended consequences that always seem to happen. And I thought this was great. It's really it's weakening the bonds of in real life friendships.

So you've got all these gig economy apps now, TaskRabbit, Rover, Uber, Postmates, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, which promise to revolutionize the future of work. But they're also changing our concept of community and not in an idealized way. Some startups sell. We're hiring a neighbor to run an errand or hosting strangers in our spare bedrooms is supposed to bring us closer together because we know that doesn't happen.

Because if we're hiring a neighbor to run an errand, we're not hanging out with them. And if we're hosting strangers in our spare bedrooms, we're probably not talking to them or probably not even there. I don't know too many people that put up their place and welcome somebody into their house while they're still home. People tend to do it when they're not home.

So, yeah, these are all things that we used to kind of reach out to friends and neighbors and to help us with and strengthen real life bonds. And now we're outsourcing it to complete strangers and we're not getting involved with them at all. There's no quid pro quo. Boy, that phrase has been in the news a lot recently, right?

Yeah, so that's not happening. So there's a quote from this guy here. We are witnessing a financialization of activities that used to be an expression of social capital, writes Trevor Schulz, a professor of culture and media at the New School in Uber Worked and Underpaid, How Workers Are Disrupting the Digital Economy.

I would say we need to read that, but we don't because we talk about it all the time and we could have written it. We could have written that one. Yeah, we're fine with that one. What used to be favors among friends now has a price tag, the pickup from the airport, hauling clothes to the laundry, or helping to paint the apartment. So we're diminishing our bonds with our friends and neighbors and we're diminishing our social capital.

We don't have social capital anymore. Now we just have financial capital and that's it. Well, honestly, if you want me to take you to the airport, you're an asshole, but that's the way that works. Or you want to help me help you move. That used to be the case, but given LAX's new fucked up system, it's a good picking up at the airport is social capital in extremists again.

Okay, okay. Yeah, no, I totally see this. I totally see this. Me too. And yeah, I got a book that I'm going to talk about it in at the library too that talks about this type of thing. And yeah, we broke society, I believe.

I believe we have completely broken society. I would like to point out that, I mean, I'm sure it's going to happen everywhere else as well, but there was a point in the article where the author of the article talked to one of her friends who was living overseas and said that it's completely different.

And I see that to be true as well. When I go back and forth to Toronto and Canada, we do a lot for our friends and our friends do a lot for us. It's only here in LA, back in the United States of America, that nobody helps anybody. Like, you just don't do it.

You don't even think to ask your friends to help you anymore. But that is pretty prevalent when I'm in Toronto with that group of friends. So I think it's very much an American experience right now. Well, I think it might be just an LA experience because in Chicago, I had friends and we would do things for each other all the time, you know?

And I think that we may be living in a really weird microcosm because LA is so damn big and it is so dense that it's impossible to just go even see your friends. Like, I've seen you. I've been here for two years. I've seen you, what, twice? You know? And you live 13 miles away.

In Chicago, that would be nothing. You know, I'd be there in about 15 minutes. Yeah, I'd be there in 15 minutes. Here it's, yeah, two hours. And somebody asked me the other day, it's like, hey, I'm going to be staying over here. How far away is that from you? I'm like, well, it's either 20 minutes or two hours. One of the two. That's the way it works.

So I think a lot of our lens is, you know, viewed through the LA problem. It can't be too much LA, though. Otherwise, this article would not have been written. That's true. That's true. We should find out where the writer is from because, yeah, in Chicago, I seriously hung out with my friends a hell of a lot more than I do here.

And I barely saw them then. So that's not even saying much. Right. But anyway. So we talked about how Opera was doing a predatory lending program for, you know, to keep the lights on. And so when I saw this one, I was just really scratching my head.

Seeked screenshots show Amazon is testing an online lending marketplace where sellers can choose loans from Goldman Sachs and other banks. Now, there's two sides to this one. One, Amazon needs merchants to sell stuff in their store. So I can see merchant lending being a great thing.

And I hope so. I hope this lending marketplace is, you know, strictly for merchants and not the general public, because if it's the general public, it's like, hey, since we took all your money, would you like to borrow some so you can keep buying stuff from us? That's what it feels like to me. But they've had this program in place for quite some time.

They stopped actually giving numbers about it in 2017 once it passed $3 billion in merchant loans. So I'm hoping that this is just a merchant loan program so people can, like, you know, pay salaries by inventory while, you know, their receivables are coming in. Because when you run a business that has product, you have to constantly be getting loans from, you know, banks for the most part to keep the lights on while you're, you know, your net 30 or net 60 or net 90 comes in from your wholesalers.

Or your net 360 if you're in the music industry. Yeah. Yeah. That's about that. Or net 20,000. But, yeah, I thought this was interesting. So I'm curious to see what this is going to be going forward because I can see this actually helping some people if the, you know, if the percentages aren't too predatory.

Yeah. We'll see what happens. Well, I mean, they shouldn't be. It's a marketplace, right? The whole point of the invisible hand of the marketplace is that it drives down through competition. But the invisible hand, how's that working for you, buddy? Well, the invisible hand got broken by the algorithm, unfortunately. Yeah.

Yeah. That's our next book, Fisted by the Invisible Hand from Grumpy Old Geeks. Yeah, we definitely could write that one. And then, keeping with Betteridge's Law, I saw this over on Engadget. Can we keep facial recognition from enabling a surveillance state? No.

No, we can't. It was a pretty good article. It said facial recognition systems aren't all bad. They offer people convenience, as any Apple Face ID user can attest, which I will find out next week when I buy your old phone, as well as… It does not have Face ID. Oh, man, I'm still going to be so far behind.

Oh, well. Yeah, yeah. Nope. You still got to use the old thumbprint. Sorry. And the article says, but the same power and versatility that makes facial recognition so useful is what makes it so dangerous. Cue China. Cue what we just talked about in London the other week. And, again, you know, we've talked about this.

There are so many shortcomings in accuracy and massive potential for misuse and all this sort of stuff. But, apparently, everybody, you know, law enforcement just wants to leap ahead with this sort of stuff. So, it's going to be a problem. They're going to be a magic leap ahead. Yes, they're taking a magic leap.

Maybe that's what magic leap is doing these days. Yeah, it could be. It could be. And, you know, Face ID, since I got the iPhone 11 Pro, I have to say they need to let you put in a new face that is just your in-bed face. So, you have the extra chin and you got one eye open and you're like, eh.

So, it unlocks while you're in that, you know, in that state. Because I'm always, like, I got to wait for it to go three times and I'm like, oh, punch in the fucking number, blah, blah, blah. Because it never works when I'm in bed. Ever. I really like the thumbprint.

I mean, that is everything for me. Well, they're saying. That's not even good enough. The rumors are that the thumbprint will be back in iPhone 12 under the glass. So, as we know, these rumors are usually bullshit. So, don't hang your hopes on that.

All right. Now, this one I thought was really, really fucked up. Amazon Alexa is ruining the lives of children named Alexa. And their parents can't get Amazon to help them. I thought I got around this by calling my kid Echo. Yeah. Damn it. Or computer.

Hey, computer. Come here. So, and the thing is, Amazon is not, like, actually willing to help in any way, shape, or form. There's an organization called Alexa is a Human, founded by a mother, and has been lobbying for Amazon to help them since 2018.

Amazon will not talk about it, and they declined to talk to Business Insider about it as well. They're just like, meh. Well, why would they? They've put five years of multi-million dollar ad campaigns into branding this and making it a thing and getting customer awareness of it.

They've put gazillions of dollars into branding this and getting this out there. Of course they're not going to change the name. Yeah, billions of dollars in investment behind it. It's the name of their product. I'm sorry. It is what it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Shit luck for you. But what are you going to do?

Here's a hit. You know what they should do? Free Prime for life. That's all you got to do. There you go. And pay for your name change at the county courthouse. Yeah. You know, I'm sure they researched this. Alexa can't be that hugely popular a name. I mean, I'm sure it's more popular than, say, Siri or Google Home.

Yeah, that's true. If you named your kid Google Home, I'm worried about you. You know somebody has. You know somebody has. Yes. And speaking of horrible things on Google, I saw this story, and I have never seen a story more perfect for our podcast than this one, Jason.

This was over on Gizmodo, the first thing that comes up on Google, the nightmare of Facebook listing your butthole as a place. What? Yes. What? Yes, indeed. Samantha Ray Anna Jesperson. No, she was not named Alexa. Never expected to be asked for articles of incorporation for her butthole.

But that's the kind of cold, stupid question she would come to expect over the years in a nightmarish search for a human being in the gears and cogs of the Facebook support apparatus. As this came from BuzzFeed News originally, for eight years, Samantha Ray Anna Jesperson was haunted by an unofficial location page marked Samantha Ray Anna Jesperson's butthole with a location pin near her high school home.

This entry was created when she was 15 by an unknown person. As an unofficial page, it was generated by user interest. So they didn't, well, you know, you know they tagged who actually made it, but it's, you know, visibility set to zero. But until this week, it still lurked at the top of her Google search results.

Oh my God. Yes. Oh my God. She reported the page, she reported the page to Facebook several times over the years, but the company claimed it did not violate its terms. Following BuzzFeed's investigation, the page was removed. Showing once again that the only way to get anything done with any company anymore these days is public shaming.

Yeah. That happens. Blessedly, the business image is blank. And there is no face to put to the troll who did this because Facebook automatically generated the page in 2012 when someone checked into the location. I'm sure they know who checked in, but they're not going to tell anyone. So Facebook met her attempts to claim the business by demanding a phone number associated with the business or a utility bill, local business tax, tax certificate, and or certificate or articles of incorporation for her butthole.

Oh my God. I wish she would have just incorporated her butthole. That would have been great. That would have been a better story. From 2015 onward, Facebook maintained that the post doesn't violate community guidelines, which is a strange position to take, considering the page arguably violates most reasons Facebook provides in its drop-down menu for reporting a page.

It's not actually a public place. It is harmful. Well, it might be a public place. We don't know her proclivities. It contains a personal attack. It is spam, and it contains sexually explicit content. So basically, all, all of the guidelines are being violated.

It is an unwavering word-for-word place. I can't even read this. I'm laughing so much. Anyways, anybody who's been through the Facebook quality assurance and customer care service knows what came next. Basically, she just got complete, you know, robot messages back and forward. We want to help you avoid things you don't want to see on Facebook.

And she then suggested that she unfollow the page for her butthole. So she wouldn't see it anymore. Yeah. Oh, my God. Okay, everybody listening to this podcast right now, wherever you're at, check in with Mark Zuckerberg's butthole, please.

I'm sure that there are tags for his name. Yeah. So she kept trying basically to get rid of this page. Facebook would not do anything for her. She took to Reddit's legal advice community, and the post blew up, and that's what actually took care of it. So thanks a lot, Facebook.

Butt book. Yes. So, yeah. Has there ever been a better story for us? I think not. I don't think so. I don't think so. I think we have reached the top of the mountain, Brian. Let's just put a cap on this and go home. At QVC, fall shopping is more than just checking out.

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Media Candy. Brian, have you finally got around to seeing the end of The Good Place? Yes. Didn't we talk about it? Maybe we didn't. Oh, yeah. We didn't, because I hadn't seen it. It was very, very, very good. I can't believe they didn't screw it up. They nailed the landing.

They totally stuck it. Yep. No doubt about it. I was trying to hint at that with my Ron D. Moore thing. But it's like, you thought the previous episode was, you know, the best way to end it. But I don't know how they did it. But this guy who created the show, he came up with a better ending than even I thought possible.

Even I thought possible. I would have been happy if it would have ended with the penultimate episode, but I did really enjoy it. Yeah. It was very well done. It artfully managed to not answer questions that one would have, but artfully made it so you don't care.

It was just a nice ending. In my list of great TV endings, this is up there at the top right now. It's up there. It's up there with MASH for me. It's that good. Yeah. And you know what another one that I thought was fantastic? Daredevil.

We talked about this the other week when you told me Daredevil was coming back possibly. Mm-hmm. I've been a little sad about that because I thought that they wrapped it up perfectly because they knew that the show was ending. And I thought the ending for Daredevil was also up there in like my top 10 series endings of all time.

And now that you've told me that it's coming back, I'm actually like, I kind of don't want it to come back. I thought they ended it really, really well. It was one of the, I would say it's the only one of the Netflix Marvel shows that they actually wrapped up really well. I didn't have a problem.

Well, I guess I did have a problem with Jessica Jones. It was kind of ham-handed how they finished that one. But yeah, it was still okay. It was okay. It was fine. It was okay. Yeah. But Daredevil, I thought they put a bow on that thing. It was fucking perfect. I left that show feeling good, which means when they bring it back, they're going to have to make me feel bad again.

And I like, I know the emotional rollercoaster that they're going to put me on. Like, oh God, some bad shit's going to happen. They got to get the team back together and everybody's going to be miserable again. Maybe they'll, you know, win at the end of the day. But I'm just like, you know what? I just am kind of happy with the fact that Daredevil's done.

Well, not done anymore. Cast has been signed. Oh, Jesus Christ. And since you're a Dan Carlin fan, I thought this was pretty good. He put out a new Hardcore History Addendum, Episode 9, Glimpses of Olympias. Olympias. Basically, it is Alexander the Great's mom.

And have you had a chance to listen to this one yet? It's only three and a half hours long. It's a short one. Yeah, I have not listened to it yet. I'm really far behind with Dan Carlin, to be honest. Yeah. The thing about this one, it's fantastic. It should have been. He mentions many times why it's not an actual Hardcore History episode, because he's working on an actual Alexander the Great episode that might come out maybe before we all die, but probably not.

But this was, I thought it was a fantastic episode. It was, I mean, the one that he's been, that series he's been doing, I haven't really gotten into. I didn't, I haven't really liked it that much. And it's like a year and a half of my life waiting for the next one. So this was really nice to get.

And I thought it was really, really well done. So if you're still stuck on the previous one, skip that, go to this one. It's a standalone episode. There's not going to be another part to it until he gets to the, maybe, you know, a aforementioned Alexander the Great episode, but I thought this one was utterly fascinating.

Excellent. Looking forward to hearing it eventually. Eventually. Yes. You'll get to it sometime. There's a new podcast out from The Onion, which is interesting. Have you got a chance? I keep asking if you've had a chance to listen to it, but no, you haven't.

This one's only seven minutes long. So it's, you know, seven to nine minutes long. It's called The Topical. And, uh, yeah, it's not that funny. I was kind of sad about that. Hmm. Youngians should stick to what they do best. Little funny headlines on social media.

Yeah. Yeah. My, my, my favorite one to this day. Oh, there's two, two of my favorite ones. Uh, San Francisco, San Francisco photographer shits out another picture of a bridge. And, uh, cats for people who like boxes of shit randomly placed throughout their house.

Those are my two favorite. They weren't even articles. They were like the little four headlines that they put on the side. That's like I said, I mean, the articles are okay, but the, the true strength is just the little headlines that you see through social media. It's, it's all you need from The Onion. I do not need a podcast. Yeah. So good.

So I want to do a little, uh, follow up on some comedy on Netflix. I, I love watching, um, I don't, this, this guy's, he's an ex, not an expat. He's a refugee. His name's Mo Ammer, Mo Ammer. Uh, but his name's Muhammad, Muhammad Ammer. Okay. Um, he is a, he's a Kuwaiti refugee.

Took him 20 years to get his U S citizenship. And he did his net first Netflix special. I think in 2018, I was crying. I love this guy so much. He was so good. My roommate was crying. We're like, is there any more of this guy? And we're like, no, damn it. I'm sure he's all over YouTube.

Yeah. I can probably go dig some of that stuff up, but he was fantastic. Fantastic. Cool. And we talked about Bert Kreischer before. I'm going to throw some links in the show notes for anybody who wants to check him out. He was, it was funny. He was, uh, in the news a little bit this week because TMZ was going to misreport him as having a heart attack and he didn't actually have one, but he's, he was like telling all the, telling his publicity agent to, you know, don't call him back.

Don't call him back because I want all of the, the well-wishers to send me tweets to say how much they miss me and what my recovery to go so well. It was very funny. So those links will be in the show notes. Um, chef volume three is coming out on February 19th on Netflix. We talked about chef before.

So yeah, never really caught my attention, man. Never really caught me. Here's the thing, you know, I skipped, like I mentioned before, I skipped the one that had Bill Burr and Gupa Gupa lady, um, Gwyneth Paltrow and, uh, the rest of my, like their background, their perfect background for when you're like sitting there checking emails and doing stuff.

Right. I enjoy them. I, I, I seriously enjoy them because they're short. They're only like half an hour. They're generally funny, but they, you actually learn some stuff about cooking on them, which is, which I, which I enjoy. So, okay. I like the kitchen on the food network. Yeah. Um, seriously, just throw these on in the background sometime.

They're, they're, they're good background stuff. All right. And we've, we've talked about Ali Wong on the show before, cause you love her. You've actually gone and seen her. Uh, yeah. Well, my wife particularly, I mean, it's, it's right up her alley, right? Chinese American story, all that sort of stuff. Immigrants, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah. Yep. Well, I was having lunch with a friend of the show, Joey Robbie, a who is, who was on way back in the day, the drunkest episode we've ever done. Definitely the drunkest episode and the weirdest search results we got from that one. That was the lady boy episode way back in the day.

And he reminded me, we used to hang out with Ali Wong in San Francisco. Makes sense. Yeah. She was a, she started there. Yeah. Yeah. We'd go to her open mics all the time and would sit there and drink with her and talk to her after the show. And I was going to eventually do a Metblogs piece on her, but then Metblogs kind of went sideways.

But, uh, yeah, she was really, really funny back then. And she's still really, really funny, Jason. I don't think so. I think she lost her. She lost her glean. All right. But, uh, anyway, I just thought it was funny. I'm like, oh, I remember her. She was really cool. She was, she was super cool.

Bought us many rounds of drinks and we bought her many rounds of drinks. Excellent. Yeah. Well, we have news that the crown will only go for five seasons. So we get two more and that means not enough Jillian Anderson, in my opinion, but it's going to happen. And they've already announced who will play the final queen for the crown and Melda Staunton famed stage actress.

Um, I'm a little bummed about this because I was definitely looking forward to, uh, seeing potentially, potentially, I can't remember his name right now. I'm totally blanking. Dumb and dumber guy, Jim Carrey, it is dumb and dumber hairdo playing Boris Johnson meeting the queen, but that's, oh, that would be pretty good.

That would be pretty good. Oh, well, I do enjoy the show so far. I thought the last season was a little slow, but I'm looking forward to it picking up. And now we know that there's an end. We always like when shows have an end because that means the writers can't screw it up too much. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, and I, I do believe that, uh, Jeff Daniels is the one that looks like, uh, a bit more like Boris Johnson. Yeah. It was more than anything else, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I think Jeff Daniels is definitely more, I mean, it's funny, but Jim Carrey can pull off the complete idiot thing so much better.

True. Boris Johnson is a complete idiot. That is true. I still have never seen dumb and dumber, by the way. My God, what is wrong with you? I don't like those types of movies. I just never- Neither do I and it is hilarious. Okay. If you're going to watch anything in that genre of just stupid slapstick crazy, you need to watch Dumb and Dumber.

It is the, it's, it's perfection. It nails that genre so completely well and it is drop dead hilarious and not just to 12 year old boys. Okay. On the sobriety index, how sober do I need to be to watch it? You can be completely sober, watch it and think it's funny, but I highly recommend a strong buzz.

Okay. That's what I was wondering. Just making sure. I mean, not like you're going to watch anything without a buzz anyways, Jason. Come on. True. This is true. But that's why I just- What's the last time you watched a movie sober? Yeah, that's a long half pause. Fuck if I know.

I did see Star Wars when I was four, so maybe that was it. Well, let me talk about two things that I watched while sober. Probably shouldn't have for Daniel Sloss. I did watch Daniel Sloss X. I thought it was funny. I didn't think it was as funny as you thought it was, but again, I had, I was sober, so that could have been the problem.

You need to have a couple of cocktails and you need to, you should have started at the beginning, like I said, and watch the Netflix stuff first, because this is his latest one. And I thought his earlier stuff was actually better. But I don't want to commit to like three hours. I don't want to commit to three hours of stuff. I just, you know, went to one and it was, it was good. It was good. I like the format.

It seems to be a format that a lot of comedians are doing, at least the woke ones these days where you get 45 minutes of comedy and then 15 minutes of ranting about the social topic. But yeah, that, yeah, Ricky Gervais did that in his latest one. And we actually skipped it because it was all about animal cruelty and the Chinese eating the dogs and stuff.

Yeah, I don't need to hear any of that stuff. Yeah, no, no, no, no. That's not what I signed up for, dude. So we actually fast forwarded that when he went into that and we just, we skipped it. So the, the, the Ricky Gervais special was perfect except for that last bit. So, um, but yeah, I think he's just super smart and his, his, if you go back and watch his other two, I think that they might even be better than the latest one.

I have, I want to go back and rewatch X, but, uh, he talked some stuff in the first episodes about his, uh, sister who I think had cystic fibrosis. Um, that was just like, I mean, it was just heart wrenchingly funny. It was really good.

So I, I'm a fan of his, he's a really young kid. I think we're going to see him blow up. I mean, he's good. You're going to hear his name everywhere in the next few years. I think just cause he's so young and he's so funny. So yeah, I mean, he's like 28, 29 now. It's crazy. And you'll be happy to know, Jason, I finally finished Star Trek discovery season two.

Why would I be happy? I don't have anything to make fun of you about it. Well, don't worry. I'm sure season three will be coming soon and I'll ignore it for like a year. Yeah. Yeah. So a final verdict. Uh, I liked it. I liked it. I probably would have liked it a lot more if I would have finished it before Picard started, which is when I told you to fucking do it because in comparison to Picard, you're right.

It's apples and oranges is completely different. Star Trek. Uh, but the Picard is the Star Trek. I deeply, deeply love, uh, Star Trek discovery is the fun continuation of the latest movies where it's kind of a big bang, shoot them up. Let's explode stuff. Pew, pew, pew.

Yeah. That, that's Star Trek, which yeah, less, less of a fan of, I've got Star Wars for that man. Yeah. I've got space horses. That's right. Space horses. Your argument is irrelevant. Okay. You know, you've got little spore creatures in Star Trek discovery.

So you can shut the fuck up about space horses. Space shrooms. We got, we got shrooms in discovery and we got horses in stone. Yeah. And that last episode, uh, Tilly was encased in a giant space poop. I don't know. So, you know, your space horses argument is irrelevant.

Probably. Probably. Well, we just talked about really stupid movies and how dumb and dumber was the pinnacle of them all. Um, then there were Adam Sandler movies. Oh my God. Now those are movies you can really only enjoy as a 12 year old boy.

I did enjoy them a lot as a 12 year old boy, but, uh, not so much anymore. Uh, but, uh, Netflix released a little bit of stats on this and, oh my God, I cannot believe this. We've watched 2 billion hours of Adam Sandler. So Netflix has given him four more movies.

Yes. They tweeted, y'all watch 2 billion. Yes. Billion hours of Sandler on Netflix. So now they're going to give him four more movies. Two billion hours. And we wonder why we don't have a cure for cancer. Um, I'm guessing the people that are watching 2 billion hours of Adam Sandler movie.

It's not taking away from their time in the lab. Okay. Probably not. Probably not. But still, what a colossal waste of human time. I cannot believe this. You can, can you imagine how long 2 billion hours is?

You probably can't because it's unfathomably long period of time. And I tried to Google some, some of this stuff about 2 billion hours. I couldn't find anything and I got too tired to do any math, but I found 1 billion hours. So double all of this. If you would travel 1 billion hours back in time, you would be crafting stone tools with your ancestors from the stone age in the year 112, 140 BC.

The life expectancy in Belgium is 81 years. That means you'd live for, that means you're expected to live for 700,000 hours. It would take 1,426 lifetimes to reach 1 billion hours. In 2014, the population of the USA was 319 million to arrive at 1 billion hours.

Every single US citizen would have to go to the cinema at the same time and each one would need to watch a three hour movie. The Lord of the Rings, the Fellowship of the Ring is two minutes too short. And this is just for a billion. Double it! Double it!

Now, have you heard anything about his new movie? I know, I know. I've heard it's good. I just don't care. Yeah. Yeah. Uncut Gems is the new movie. I've got it, but I haven't watched it yet. I've heard it's really bleak. Again, I don't need bleak in my life right now. That's the thing. It's like, either he's unfunny or just sad.

Yeah. And I think that's probably a reflection on his life, but you know what? The tears of a clown, Jason. The tears of a clown. You know what? We can make fun of Adam Sandler all we want. He's the one laughing at us. We're never going to get two billion hours of people listening to our drivel, so you know what?

Just laughing and crying all the way to the bank. Adam Sandler has one life. He's one at life. That's all you can say. And I will say Opera Man on Saturday Night Live, legit funny. Oh my God, the protractor bit still fucking cracks me up. Oh my God, I loved Opera Man so much.

And we have a hero of the week. This is the Mumbai police. Apparently, Mumbai is the honkiest place in the world. That's not just a bunch of white people running around. I was about to say, it's probably like the unhonkiest. Yeah, it's the unhonkiest honky place. So what they've done is the red lights, they put a decibel meter on some of them just to drive their point home.

So when the decibel level gets over 85 dB, it resets the timer on the red light, making people wait even longer. So they have to shut up. Nice. Is that not the funniest thing you've ever seen? I love this.

I know. I wish this was everywhere. We totally need to do this everywhere. It's going to screw up traffic scientists and traffic everywhere. But you know what? After a couple months of people figuring it out, people will be nicer. They need this in New York stat. Amazing.

Amazing. Love that. Yeah. Go watch the video. Link's in the show notes. You will. You will. I just want to give this guy a hug. I want to give this guy a hug who came up with it. Feedback loop. Over at Patreon, we have two new subscribers, Sarah and Brian.

And over at PayPal, we've got Doug, Stephen, Ann, Steve, Elizabeth, David, Ben, Michael, Judge, John, Simon, and Ted. And Ted says, thanks for all the great shows. All the best. Well, thank you very much. And we have Stephen. And Stephen says, hey, Jason, you've been talking about how pleased you are with Google Photos lately and the associated costs of using their service.

Is there a reason you don't use the free unlimited storage plan you can get with Google Photos? I've been doing this for years, and I'm wondering if I've been making a huge mistake. Thanks. Well, here's the difference. I upload massive full resolution raw files. So I use it as a backup as well as the search.

The search is just unbelievably good. But you can't get that with a free tier. There are limits on file size uploads when you go with the free tier. And if you're just uploading crap from your phone, that's fine. But like my Nikon D810, I think the files are 27, 28 meg. And I just found out you can't upload TIFF files to it, which is really pissing me off.

Even if you pay. Even if you pay. And because most of it, well, two things. They don't support the TIFF format, so I have to re-export everything in another format. And some of my TIFF files are over their maximum of like 72 megabytes. I think I've got several, you know, hundred files that are over 100 megabyte TIFFs.

So I have to redo all those. But so far, I'm loving it. But yeah, that's the difference in why I don't use the free plan. Because I'm using this as, you know, basically an archive of everything I've shot since I was 15. So that is, what, 33 years worth of photography.

Right. And we got a couple comments over on Facebook, but Facebook's interface is so janky and crap that I couldn't be bothered to go back and find them. But thank you. I see them when they come in. Appreciate it. GOG.show. You can use the form there or email us at podcast at podcast at grumpyoldgeeks.com.

Yeah. Yeah, that works. Over at Twitter, RightFilmSleepRepeat said, Did you see this? And sent a link to The Guardian. Hiding in plain sight. Activist dawned camouflage to beat met surveillance. So they're not quite taking on your idea, Jason, of doing the Guy Hawks masks. But they are doing other things.

It's mostly makeup. Light and dark colored makeup. It basically looks like a bunch of people going to the Bat Club back in the 80s for goth dancing. This is bad makeup. Yeah, it's like, yeah, if a clown was doing mushrooms, that's kind of what it looks like. But it seems to work.

Very cool. Hey, if it works, it works. Derek writes in, As a relatively new listener, I hadn't yet been exposed to your politics. Don't do me any favors by tamping down your immaturity. There's plenty of content out there, so I'll find something else. So I did what I always do when we get negative reviews or anything like that.

And I go take a look and see what the person is into. And I did take a quick peek at Derek's other tweets. Yeah, you were never going to like us and really seemed to enjoy shouting into the wind online. There's a lot of people you don't like. There's a lot of people you don't like. Calm down, dude.

Relax. Enjoy your life a bit. Stop screaming at people. But thank you for listening while you did. Appreciate it. Appreciate it. Thanks for listening. Yeah. Moss6502 writes in, Now that you're backing up to Google Photos, have you gotten any interesting stylized photos? The For You button always has fun stuff, in my opinion.

By the way, I started backing to Amazon Photos as a tertiary site. It's clunkier to search. Tertiary. Tertiary site. Tertiary? I'm fucking tired. It's clunkier to search, but at least it's extra redundancy. No, I don't do Amazon Photos. I just do Google Photos and my 17 hard drives.

And as far as it goes with the stylized photos on the For You thing, I have not gotten a single thing from them that was actually useful. So, no. Speaking of AI package stuff, I really do think Apple Photos is doing quite a good job about that.

You know, I have a kid. I like the little packaged, this was your January photo montages that they do. They're quite good. Yeah, see, I've had nothing but bad results with Apple because the one, like the one photos. Garbage in, garbage out, Jason. Well, I had pictures of my roommate after she got hit by a car, and that was the main photo that they kept sending me for 2019 or 2018.

And I'm like, I don't want to see it. So, I'd have to go delete it to actually have them regenerate it, which is a pain in the butt. Remember, I vaguely remember a story about a guy whose, like, mom's gravestone kept coming up. Exactly. With, like, jaunty music. Yeah, that's the whole thing. It's just, like, it has no contextual awareness, so it doesn't know.

That's because it's not AI. Well, it is AI. That's the problem because there is no AI. Yes. Over at GOG.show, Sean writes in, oh, boy, Jason probably shouldn't have downloaded all your Google info. Or was that Facebook? And this is a link over to Mashable.

Google, oops, we may have sent your private Google photo videos to strangers. Oopsies. Yeah, when people were doing the Google checkout, it turns out that they were, there was a glitch. And they were actually sending people other people's photos and videos. Oopsies. Oopsies. Yeah, that does remind me that I do have to go through my Google photos and get rid of those, those photo sessions with ex-girlfriends that unfortunately accidentally got sent up to Google that shouldn't exist anymore.

Oops. Some of them are public figures and some of them are married and that would be a bad thing if somebody else got those pictures. Yeah, good idea. Good idea, Jason. Elaine and quite a few other people sent us this story. He says, hi, guys. Apparently, you can have a lot of fun with a cartload of phones.

A German installation artist used his phone cart to create fake traffic jams in Berlin. And this is Simon Weckert and the direct link to it and Google Maps Hacks. Very clever. He just stuck a whole bunch of phones in a cart and dragged it around and made it seem like there were huge traffic jams. Okay.

Interesting. Expensive installation. Yeah, very. Christopher writes, and just heard your episode 419 where you were mentioning landlines and why you would still have one and thought you might have missed one important use, which is that they help you build up your credit rating, or at least they do here in the UK.

This is the same as library cards, which are very useful for the same reason and why a credit card company can confirm your details adds them to being confident in who and or where you are. Cheers for the show. So it pins you to a location is basically what it is. I'm not sure that that does that here.

I don't think library cards or phone bills build up your credit rating here. No, you actually have to specifically, there's a company that I heard of that will actually go through and use some of the bills that you do, like your utility bills and your phone bills, and build up your credit score with it.

Because by default, the three demons of the apocalypse who are credit rating agencies here don't use that info, even though you pay them on a regular basis. So, yeah, we don't have that here, because America hates us. Right. Matthias writes in, Daniel Sloss, thank you.

It's been a long time since I laughed this much so hard. I'm sorry. I'm trying to parse this a little bit. My stomach hurt after one episode. One laughs harder when you recognize yourself, and Scots and Swedes are not that far apart. So once again, thank you, Matthias the Swede. All right. I'm glad you liked it.

I'm glad you liked it. And Randulo writes in, Chateau Picard is actually in Santa Ynez, an easy drive for you from L.A. It's the Sunstone Vineyards and Winery. Very interesting. I went and checked out the site. Very cool. I think I'll have to go there before I leave California.

Oh, that's where I keep forgetting. You're leaving. You're moving this time. Not me, bitch. Yeah, six years I've moved once. Six years I've moved thrice. Jason writes in, gave up buying Epson and HP ink years ago. Look online at your favorite shopping site.

No plugs and search for your brand and model number. Many, many, many options, which are pennies on the dollar. Stay grumpy. Yeah, I keep hearing that, but it just always sticks in the back of my mind that third-party inks are crap, but maybe they aren't anymore. See, the thing is, I've never had a problem with the ink.

The problem is that there's a chip. They actually, you know... Yeah, they chip it now, right? Yeah, they chip all of the little plastic cases, so unless they're putting their ink into the verified by HP little plugs that you put into your printer, then it doesn't work.

And I've had problems buying cheap ink where I'll get a bunch of it, get it, plug it into my printer. My printer goes, no, we can't use this, which, I mean, it's ridiculous, fucking ridiculous that they can do that. It should be illegal. It should be completely illegal. Yeah, yeah.

It's a printer. I'm putting ink in it to print. I bought it. I paid for the printer, not your goddamn ink. But, you know, everything's a subscription. That's how you do it. James writes in, hi, team. I sent a wonderful new revenue stream for Team Grump. Move over Patreon.

Farewell ads. Hello, branded grumpy old geek plastic bottle heads. Oh, my God. This is a link that is just fantastic. It is people in Canada. Vancouver. Yeah.

Vancouver putting plastic bottles over their head to protect them from the coronavirus. Yeah. Not going to work. Yeah. Brian, have fun in Canada is all I can say. People make fun of us for being stupid people down here.

But I guess it is a universal thing. Yes, it is. And it was Vancouver. So, yes. And they can say, they go on to say, users can rest assured the Team Grump guarantees that no geolocation or facial recognition data will be shared in the advent of wearing a bottle head.

You have to go and just look at the pictures. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. It went viral. Like it was all viral. Let me see what I did there. Quibble writes in, holy cow, guys, have you seen this yet? I know I'm always complaining about tech screwing me over, but look at this, will you?

And this is a link over at Bloomberg about the story that we've heard about recently, which really grinded my gears, to quote the family guy. But, yeah, not shocking that it's happening. A health records company pushed opioids to doctors in a secret deal with Drugmaker. So, they created this software, this health records software, and doctors using it would basically get promoted ads without there being the little ad notifier from Google.

So, a pop-up would appear asking about a patient's level of pain, then a drop-down menu would list treatments ranging from a referral to a pain specialist to a prescription for an opioid painkiller, and they gamed the system to basically push their product. Wow. Nice.

Give evil a tool, and evil will use the tool. So, I hope they get sued out of existence, but as we know from doing this show, no consequences. None whatsoever. Tends to be what happens, yeah. Yep. Exalted writes in, hey, Grumps, not sure if you know about this or not, but it seems someone created a subreddit and is bringing in the podcast as topics.

I do not see any comment activity there, but a couple upvoted posts, so that indicates at least a couple people might already know about it. Have a good day. And so, there's a link to the Grumpy Old Geeks unofficial subreddit, which is at reddit.com slash r slash grumpy old geeks. I started one a long time ago at slash r slash gog podcast, which turned out nobody cared about, so I let it go.

So, if you're listening to this and you own the unofficial subreddit, grumpy old geeks on reddit, and you want any help from us or want to take over the other one, just drop me an email, j at jpd.me, and we'll transfer it over.

I'm more than happy to give anybody anything they need if they want to run the subreddit. I just didn't have the fucking time. Yeah, we didn't have the time to do it, and there didn't seem to be the interest. We were, like, posting. We were going to post some stories as we were getting them throughout the week, so people would get a preview and all of that. Happy to do it if anybody wants to run it and if anybody has any interest whatsoever.

Yeah. Which nobody seems to do. Well, somebody does. Somebody's running the unofficial subreddit, so that means somebody cares at least a little. A tiny modicum of what we do here, which is great. That's nice. Anything we can do to help. Over at iTunes, we have a five-star rating from Scrabbler09, the only tech podcast worth listening to.

I love Manscaped. When you get too furry, clean it up in a hurry. Also, Jason and Brian are pretty cool, too. Just give it a listen already. Thank you so much. Yeah, I'm sure Manscaped's going to take that line. I sent this to them this morning because that is just too good. And Barzenator0892 writes, And hours of entertainment started listening to this show because it sounded interesting and made the half mistake of listening at the beginning.

That's not a half mistake, my man. That is a full gainer. While audio quality was bad, kind of fun to hear how bad all the IoT companies were. Great! Can say the newer episodes are a lot better, and I do agree with a lot of what they say, even though I'm one of the millennials they harp on.

Though I am an anomaly, as my one social media account is Facebook that I never post on. Would heavily recommend to all non-snowflakes, stay grumpy. Oh, thank you, Barzenator. And speaking of snowflakes, we have a one-star rating for Michael C. Chang. Enjoyed most of it, despised one thing Brian said.

Now, I'll just read this first, and then we can get to it. Yeah, I've been waiting a week for this one. Let's go. I know you've been waiting. For the most part, I enjoy listening to this podcast despite political disagreements. Okay, good start. However, I was extremely disappointed by Brian's insensitive, mean-spirited comments about parents who are concerned about the scientifically proven, undeniable evidence that there are serious risks associated with vaccines.

No documentation. What? Many children and families have been hurt by vaccines, and for Brian to completely dismiss parents' concerns and say their family should go to an island and die needs to be called out. Discussion and debate is fine, but that comment was just atrocious. First off, I made the comment. That was not me. So if you're going to shit on us, be accurate.

Well, you know, if they're an anti-vaxxer, we already know that they're not very much into accuracy. Yes, there is no scientifically proven, undeniable evidence, mofo. And yes, that was Jason. I say many, many rude things, but the one person on this show that would tell people to go die in a fire all the time is Jason.

I just might have agreed with him. Yeah, you did agree with me. That's correct. But I do believe I'm not, you know, I'm not going to spend the time to go back and go through the transcripts and figure out what I said. But I'm pretty sure that was me. Yeah, as soon as the review came in, I pinged you and I was like, that was you, wasn't it?

And you were like, yeah, probably. Probably, probably. I know me too well. So I've got a couple links here in the show notes. One is a message for the anti-vaccine movement from Jimmy Kimmel's show, which I think it was 2005 or something.

It was great. And of course, the one that we always point to, Penn and Teller's bullshit on vaccinations, which is the best description of vaccines and why you should have your children vaccinated ever. Now, Brian, I saw this on TV the other day, and I can't find the damn commercial on YouTube, and it's driving me crazy.

This was some health care provider here in Southern California, and it was a mom and a son in the car. Looking at another mom and a daughter, like, taking the groceries out of their trunk, like, you know, they were in like a subdivision or something.

And the kid was like, hey, I want to go play with Sally. And the mom's like, no, I'm sorry. You can't play with Sally. Sally's sick because Sally's mom didn't get her vaccinated. So you can't play with Sally. And then it fucking put up the name of the thing. I'm just like, holy shit, they fucking did it.

They really, they went there. Wow. They totally did it. If I didn't have amazing health care already, I would switch to these people. I know. I know. That is how that works. Speaking of ads, Jason, I don't know if you saw this. Verizon's been running this ad incessantly here in Southern California, and it really grinded my gears again.

And this is completely off topic. Here we go on a tangent. But I wanted to talk about this because it was so frustrating, and we covered this story on our show a while back. The new Verizon ad is all about, like, how great their system is, and they use first responders. It's all these shots of firemen running into buildings and all that sort of stuff.

Verizon is the company that fucking metered the fucking firemen when they had that big fire. Fuck you, Verizon. Exactly. What a load of shit. I really got upset when I saw that ad.

Yeah, talk about rewriting history. Jesus. Anyways. Wow. Tangent over. If you want your question or comment read on the show, head over to gog.show.com. Contact and send us your feedback or questions that we can read on the air. If you're so inclined, please head over to gog.show.com and toss us a five-star and snarky review.

And I am happy and willing to take all one-stars from anti-vaxxers. Yeah. Yeah. And just please don't send us feedback on Facebook. We've said it before. We're never going to check it. We never check it. It's such a crappy system. Crap. But if you are listening on the Overcast player, please click that little star next to the player.

We really appreciate it. And we are pushing up against Rogan so hard. That sounds wrong on so many levels. Especially since he's been in the news lately. But come on. Come on. Let's just take down Rogan for just a little bit.

That would be so awesome. Because we're beating Tim Ferriss and the New York Times right now. Two podcasts that I know have a hell of a lot more downloads than we do. So you guys are killing it. Thank you. I know you did not watch the Super Bowl, but I actually did.

It was quite a good game. And I want to give a shout out and congrats to the great state of Kansas. All right. Yes. Our president mistakenly congratulated Kansas after the Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl win. Kansas City Chiefs play in Kansas City, Missouri.

Missouri. That's right. Yes. Kansas City is like Istanbul. It is in two places at once. No, we don't even need him to be brought a blank map to point out where Kansas City is. Because we know he does not know. No, we don't. I did watch the halftime show.

And I got to say, it was pretty good. And by the way, I think that the entire, the entire halftime show was a fuck you to Trump. It was. It was. It really, really was. I mean, they had kids in cages singing. Unbelievable.

And by the way, there's a great meme going around. 50 years old. J-Lo is 50 years old. 50 years old. Can you believe it? The meme that's going around shows, I think it was Rue McClanahan in 1985 when she was 50 versus J-Lo swinging on that pole at 50.

50 has changed, my friend. 50 has definitely changed, but I'm 48 and I can't do this shit. You know what? There's a big difference between 50 and rich and 50 and broke ass. Patreon.com slash G-O-G. Let's get Jason on the pole. Let's get me on the pole. Oh my God.

Until next time, I'm Jason DeFillippo and I'm not on a pole. And I'm Brian Schulmeister. Thanks for listening to Grumpy Old Geeks. Support the show and keep us on the air. Go to G-O-G dot show slash donate. Doss us a few bucks and would love you forever. Your support really keeps us going and we really appreciate it. Show notes for this episode are at G-O-G dot show slash 412.

From there, you can get links to old episodes, leave feedback, ask questions, donate to the show, and get links to stuff we like, such as vaccinations. Stay grumpy. Did I mention I was crazy? Or you can use something from your school supplies, like this protractor.

I'm crazy protractor face. I don't believe we've had the honor. My vision is impaired, but I can still see you've got candy. I want that candy. Or go as crazy protractor beard. I'm crazy protractor beard.

Look, I got a beard made out of a damn protractor. Isn't that bizarre? Now, I believe you're going to give me some candy. I got all night. I'm just a guy who's got a protractor full of beard. I got nowhere to go, so you might as well cough up that candy.

Happy Halloween, everybody. Adam Sandler. Thank you. That's all right, Adam. At QVC, fall shopping is more than just checking out. It's discovering the brands you love across beauty, fashion, home, and culinary, all in one place.

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