406: The Internet of Starch

Grumpy Old Geeks. A weekly talk show hosted by Brian Schulmeister and Jason DeFillippo discussing the finer points of what went wrong on the internet and who's to blame. Welcome to Grumpy Old Geeks. I'm Jason DeFillippo.

And I'm Brian Schulmeister. Got a bit of personal follow-up. Thank you to all the people that wrote in about either having a microcassette recorder or sending links to cheap ones on eBay. Luckily, a friend of the show, Brian, who you also know, Jason, happened to contact me after hearing it and said he randomly happens to have one.

And since he lives close, relatively close, well, let's be honest, he lives in Hollywood. I'll never fucking see him. But we will get together and have a beer or something like that. So he will be able to loan me one. So thank you, everyone. I'm going to got that sorted now. Yay. Excellent. And over the weekend, I got my mom a new computer because hers was running down, starting to have some problems.

And, you know, desktop PCs are so dirt cheap these days. It's almost ridiculous. But it's been a long time. They still sell those? Yeah, they still sell them. Boy, do they. There's lots of them out there and they are cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap. Got one, set it up for her. And it's been a long time since I've set up a Windows system. Microsoft. What? The actual F.

That process is so Byzantine and, man, there are so many things you need to opt out of. Yeah. It's insane. Yeah, it takes a while. It takes a while. I was not expecting that. That was supposed to be a relatively quick trip down to my mom's to set up her computer. And I was there for quite some time.

Yeah, I can imagine. Because I set up one, I don't know, maybe, jeez, like two, three years ago with Windows 10, I bought a laptop off of Woot, believe it or not. I got a nice laptop off of Woot for like $200 and then spent $600 on upgrades to it.

Put in, you know, a bunch of RAM and an SSD. And it's actually a pretty fast little laptop now. Yeah. But, man, setting that up. Every, like, couple weeks, I just take it out of the closet and boot it up and run the security updates on it. Run all the updates, yeah. It takes about two hours and then put it back in the closet because it's just one of those things where someday I know I'm going to need it. And it has come in handy a couple times.

Yeah, I mean, I spent about $600 total on a Dell system for my mom. But that also included, you know, a new monitor, the wireless mouse, the wireless keyboard, all that sort of stuff. So it was cheap. And once I got past the setup, that system flies, man. It's pretty impressive.

Yeah. I mean, I've got another Windows PC here, like that Gamer's Republic PC, I think. And that thing cooks. You can plate all sorts of stuff on it. I just noticed the other day I've only got 16 gig of RAM in it. I should probably upgrade that if I actually want to do anything useful.

Yeah. I mean, once you get past that setup, and of course, you know, the incredibly difficult process of trying to tell Microsoft Windows that no, you do not want to use their browser. And no, you do not want to use their mail program. Yes, for real. I mean it this time. Please change the default.

And once you do all that, it's a pretty good little system. So I think I've mentioned that when I move on to my new position, the company I'm going to work for is a PC shop. So I've got to start getting used to it again anyways. Oh, there you go. Well, bye-bye Macintosh.

Oh, no. I'll keep that for my personal use. I'm going to have the rare thing that I haven't had in over 20 years, Jason, a separation of church and state between my personal electronics and my work electronics. How about that? Oh, my God. How refreshing. I know. I know. That'll be interesting. Yeah, I don't want you to move to a PC to do this show. I just don't.

I won't. Don't worry about it. We've got enough trouble getting it to work with the technology we have. Yes. And a little bit more follow-up. We have been basically crapping on the electric scooters for the four years that they've been – since they first got dumped in my backyard, quite literally.

Yeah. Yeah, that's right. You are patient zero for those things. Patient zero. Santa Monica is where they first all got dumped, the Santa Monica-Venice area. So I have been screaming about these and hating on them since they came into existence. Well, it's been four years now, believe it or not, and we actually have some real data, as one tends to collect over the course of four years.

According to a recent study published in JAMA Surgery, not wearing headgear or taking other precautions while riding is increasingly sending young people to the hospital, leading to up to more than 40,000 broken bones, head wounds, and other injuries. Unfortunately, less than 5% of riders in the study were found to be wearing their helmet, and I would actually say 5% just based on what I see is a high number.

I don't see anybody wearing helmets around here, and that has led to nearly one-third of patients having a head injury. That's more than double the rate of head injuries experienced by bicyclists, and I don't see too many bicyclists wearing helmets either. Well, when I was doing jury duty in Santa Monica, I saw a lot of people wearing helmets.

I mean, it was a good 20%, but it might just be the area. It might just be because the police department and the courts are right there. That's right, that's right, because everybody was zipping right by all the cops. Yeah, so there you go. So the rise is likely due to an increasingly popular adoption of these scooters among young people in urban areas.

So, yeah, so there's more scooters, so they're saying that could be part of the problem, but what we see is basically scooter injuries increased overall by 222%, which is quite high, and injuries sending riders to the hospital rose by 365% in the four years that these things have been around.

That's not good. That's a lot of injuries. Close to two-thirds of those with scooter injuries were young men, and most were not wearing head protection. And the article goes on into— They were also drunk. Also, well, we'll get into that a little bit later in the show. But, yeah, the article then goes on into, you know, the companies are basically not doing enough to require that people actually protect themselves when riding, which is true.

One sign saying you need to wear a helmet is not really going to be helpful, and people aren't buying helmets and toting them around, and, of course, the scooter companies are not providing them. I don't think they're providing them for free anymore. There was that period of time where you could actually use the app to request one, but, again, the whole point of these things is easy mobility.

And having to tote around a helmet, not so much. Oh, come on. I mean, but it's also—take some personal responsibility. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. You get a head injury riding a scooter, it's your own damn fault. Unless you get hit by a Prius in Santa Monica and that something— Silent but deadly.

Yeah, you just shouldn't be riding the damn things. Let's just get back to walking, people. Get back to walking. In the news.

Well, we talked just last week about how the military, the U.S. military, is banning TikTok because of concerns about security flaws, and guess what? They've found some security flaws. Oh, did they ever? Did they ever, yes. TikTok, the smartphone app beloved by teenagers and used by hundreds of millions of people around the world, has been found to have some serious vulnerabilities that would have allowed hackers to manipulate user data and reveal personal information, according to research published on Wednesday by Checkpoint, a cybersecurity company.

And guess where they are, Jason? I'm going to give you one guess. Israel! Damn right. Fucking Israelis. Yep. So, these weaknesses would have allowed attackers to send TikTok users messages that carried malicious links. Once users clicked on the links, attackers would have been able to take control of their accounts, including uploading videos or gaining access to private videos, as well as any other information that you would put into the app.

So, they found this, and they gave, they let TikTok know, or ByteDance, as one should, on November 20th, and they said they had fixed all of the vulnerabilities by December 15th. But, of course, these vulnerabilities were found to be core to TikTok systems, and I'm sure there are more of them.

No such thing as a safe app. And we also talked relatively recently about Away, our one-time sponsors, the swanky luggage company. And again... Who may be coming back, believe it or not. Who may be coming back, which is fine. We know they don't listen to the show. Which is, yeah, if they don't listen to the show, they may come back and advertise again. I like their product, I have to say, but they did seem to have a problem with their corporate culture.

We talked about co-founder Steph Corey, who had to step down as CEO following reports of her role in creating a toxic culture. Guess what? She's back. She apologized, and she's allowed to come back now, apparently. And didn't you say that that's what should happen? She should have apologized and tried to fix it from within instead of stepping down?

Yes. Yes, I did. And that is now what's happening. So, I'm kind of okay with it. I'm fine with that. She did a mea culpa, and she said she's not proud of her behavior in those moments. She's sincerely sorry for what I said and how I said it. It was wrong, plain and simple. I just think it's really funny that basically she was berating people over Slack.

That's what's kind of come out in the story. And I was like, Jason and I berate each other over Slack all the time. Get over it. Yeah, seriously. That's what Slack's for. Exactly. So, she sent a Slack note to her employees yesterday and said that what happened in December created a lot of confusion and more questions than answers.

She added that it unleashed a social media mob not just on me, but also on many of you. So, that's fine. But now they're planning to consider legal action against The Verge, which I think is a mistake, and try to improve lines of communication within the company, which is a good thing. Don't sue The Verge for reporting stuff that was true.

Yeah, yeah. You apologized. You're back. Make sure your employees are happy about it. Explain it internally and move the F on. Yeah, pretty much. I wonder if she started her first Slack message with, like, I'm back, bitches! Perhaps, perhaps.

And I scanned this article. I meant to get back to reading all of it, and I didn't, so I have to apologize for this. But it looked like it was a really good read over at the New York Times. The gig economy is coming for your job. And the gist of this is that in the beginning of the gig economy, people most feared one-to-one job loss, meaning an Uber driver comes in and a taxi driver goes out.

No job for the taxi driver. One-to-one. But what's happening now and what they're finding out is that many of these app workers and these new app companies that are coming out are not one-to-one. They're one to an entire workforce.

They talked specifically in this article about hotel restaurants and room service in hotels and how basically all those companies and the kitchen staff and the delivery staff, they're all getting fired because of TaskRabbit and DoorDash and things of that, Uber Eats, etc.

So it's now one-to-many, which is the beginning of the apocalypse. I got a problem with that one-to-many because how many deliveries are coming to the place? Probably more people are delivering than work in that kitchen and work in that restaurant. So I don't know if that's actually true, if you can say that that is one-to-many.

Well, you write the author of the article and get into it with them. I think I might. Where's my Twitter? Somebody warm up my Twitter outrage machine. Warm up the Twitter machine. Yeah. Oh, man. Now, I understand it. But here's the other thing. Room service sucks. Yeah, there is that.

Again, this is one of the arguments that was made for Uber here in Los Angeles specifically is taxi service here sucks. And Uber has actually made it better. I'm all for fair competition. That's great. I'm cool with that. But a total wipeout is, you know, they should have upped their game first. I've been in some hotels.

I mean, not here in L.A. I've been in some hotels that have had excellent, excellent dining options. But most of them do suck. Yeah. And I'd much rather get a Domino's pizza delivered. Unless you go to the Beverly Hills Hotel. Then the room service is top notch. I would like something from the Polo Lounge, please.

Oh, God. Here's my rent check for the next three months. But it was good. So good. And because we've spent so much time on our show talking about how automation is going to drive people out of their jobs, I just wanted to be fair and balanced in reporting the news.

All right. And I do love this article. Robots out of work as automated businesses close in the Bay Area. Yes, the robots are now worried for their jobs. Silicon Valley company that used robots to make its pizzas closed this week and three coffee shops in downtown San Francisco that used robots as baristas.

Was also shuttered. Zoom Pizza said it is cutting 172 jobs. Who knew that a robot pizza place. Yes, in Mountain View and eliminating another 80 jobs at its facility in San Francisco. The CEO, Alex Garden, made the announcement in an email to employees on Wednesday.

They, yeah, so they intend to now focus on food packaging and delivery systems. And former employees will be able to apply for the 100 new positions that they expect to have in its packaging. No word on what the robots will have to apply for. Yeah, that's so funny. Okay. I was a robot mechanic and now I stuff peaches in boxes.

Yes. Wonderful. Well, speaking of robots, this one was really crazy. Scientists have built the first ever robots constructed entirely out of living cells. Now, when this news hit the wires, as it were, or the feeds, there was a lot of concern and outrage and, oh, my gosh, it's the coming apocalypse.

I have not read the story because I saw you put it in here and I figured I'd let you tell me if I should be concerned. Well, I mean, these are submillimeter-sized blobs of a few cells between 500 and 1,000 frog cells that they basically used a supercomputer to run some machine learning on and figure out how you can put these cells together to actually do something.

Right. Like scoot across a petri dish and pick up a payload and bring it back. Or eventually, say, go into your bloodstream and kill cancer cells. Exactly. Or swim in the ocean and pick out all the microplastics. Okay. That one terrifies me, by the way. Okay. We might have to do an entire show on microplastics at some point because that's going to actually kill us all.

Yeah. Yeah, well. Okay. Tangent. Yeah, a serious tangent. But, I mean, honestly, we're all just killing time until we're dead anyway. Who cares? This is just fun. Well, to be fair, we've always been doing that. Every living organism is doing that. That's true. That's true. When you get down to the nuts and bolts of it.

But these are called the xenobots. Now, when I first heard that, I was like, seriously? You're going to call it the xenobot? Like the xenomorph in aliens? I'm like, okay, way to start off with that one. Not a good start. But it's because these are built out of cells harvested from embryonic African clawed frogs or the xenopus lavis.

They should have called them pussbots. Pussbots. Exactly. Now, next up on Goop. Pussbots. The pussbot. Came from my own skin cells, says White Paltrow. So, they said it was very painstaking. They had to use microscopic forceps and an electrode to put them all together.

But it's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. Now, the thing is, is it really a robot? I don't understand how you can take cells and turn it into a robot. Isn't this some new type of robot. Isn't this some new type of living thing? Shouldn't it have a new name? Yeah. If it doesn't have electronic parts, it's not a robot.

It's some sort of new living creature. Yeah. I mean, it's a new life form. I like how they try to wrap that up by just saying, living robots. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Because let's just go with the actual definition of a robot.

Because definitions have worked out so well for this show. A robot is a machine resembling a human being and able to replicate certain human movements and functions automatically. Now, I would say that it doesn't have to resemble a human being because there are many types of robots that don't resemble human beings.

But that is the dictionary definition from Google because Google can do no wrong. But yeah. And also, and Miriam Webster, they say, a machine that resembles a living creature in being able or in being capable of moving independently as by walking or rolling on wheels and performing complex actions such as grasping and moving objects.

Also, this doesn't really meet that definition because it's not a machine. It's a bunch of cells. So I don't know if I would call them robots. You know what? I would call it, though. Damn fucking cool. Yeah. Pretty cool. I'm going to have to really go look into this a bit more. I still like Pussbots, though.

Pussbots would be much better. But getting back to bad definitions, Warner Brothers signs AI startup that claims to predict film success. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You could make a lot of money now if you claim to have an algorithm. Seriously.

Seriously. It's like, we could have done this. We could have done this in, like, minutes. We could have just done a randomized Perl script to do this because it's bullshit. Here comes a Perl script. Okay. So your movie with Superman where you have to digitally remove his mustache is not going to do well.

There. Done. Can I have a million dollars now? Yeah. So this is a company called Cinalytics. And their CEO, Tobias Quaser, stressed that AI was only an assistive tool. Artificial intelligence sounds scary. But right now, an AI cannot make any creative decisions.

I would say any decisions at all. But what it is good at is crunching numbers and breaking down huge data sets and showing patterns that would not be visible to humans. But for creative decision making, you still need experience and gut instinct. So maybe if we take the gut cells from the frogs and tie them with AI, maybe we'll get something.

But this is, you know, this is ridiculous. This is ridiculous. All we're going to get out of this thing is make a sequel because sequels always make money. Well, I mean, that's basically what the movie industry is now anyways. Right. So, yeah, it's a good time to be an AI superstar. Let's do sequels and let's do remakes.

And let's put the same handful of actors in absolutely everything. Thanks a lot. My AI would say you can stop making Charlie's Angels reboots. Nobody wants to see Charlie's Angels ever again. And some Google news. Google wants to phase out support for third-party cookies in Chrome within two years.

I am so far out of the loop on web development. I wouldn't even know how to do anything anymore if I didn't have a cookie. Well, I mean, your cookies are on your own site, which I think is fine. But it's the third-party cookies that have always been the bane of everybody's existence.

And even when I started with blogrolling.com, I'm like, look, guys, this is a problem. This is really a problem from the day of the first tracking pixel. I knew it was a problem. And it has ballooned into the biggest problem we have now that we have. I think the biggest problem with third-party cookies is that you have to click on fucking I accept cookies every time you go to a website.

Thank you, EU. Stupid pieces of shit. Anyway, yeah, they're going to start phasing that out, which I am very curious on how that is going to go. Because, I mean, it's the backbone of how everybody makes money on the internet and how they track everybody on the internet.

So, and one of those people that make the most money tracking people on the internet is fucking Google. So, I'm sure they're going to find a solution to keep tracking us. Yes, they are. They're working on something called the Privacy Sandbox. So, we'll see. Another one of Google's naming conventions that means the opposite of what it is.

True, Pat. The privacy sewer is probably more close to what it's going to be. Yeah. And speaking of Google, David Drummond, the legal chief of Google parent company Alphabet, is leaving at the end of the month following accusations of inappropriate relationships with employees.

So, also being phased out. Yes. Alphabet did not give a reason for his departure in a short regulatory filing on Friday. However, last August, a former Google employee, Jennifer Blakely, published the report of her relationship with Drummond. And Drummond has acknowledged that relationship. But in a statement at the time, he said he never started a relationship with anyone else at Alphabet.

The company said Drummond is not getting an exit package, which means he has done something wrong. His compensation package for 2018, before you cry for him, though, was worth $47 million, making him one of the company's highest paid employees. Oh, man. Get paid, get touchy hands, and then get a vacation.

Okay. Yes. There you go. He can afford the island. Yeah, I'll take $47 million. And, you know, if I get caught playing grab ass, who cares? And they're definitely giving him an easy out. Although they're not giving him the package, they're letting him run with his basic narrative that says he's now leaving their executive roles at Alphabet, talking about Larry Page and Sergey Brin.

The company is entering an exciting new phase, and I believe that it's also the right time for me to make way for the next generation of leaders. Yes, because when a company is entering an exciting new phase, that's usually when people want to leave. Exactly. Oh, things are about to get good. I'll see you later. Have fun.

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Media Candy. Brian, we talk about streaming media all the time, and how it's the greatest thing ever. You can get whatever you want, except when you can't. That's what they tell us. Like I was talking about killing an Arab, I think, last episode or the episode before, and how I had to go dig up the copy from my ancient spinning platter hard drive like a damn dirty ape.

You know, it's funny you mention that, because I had a very similar experience just two nights ago. I was listening to some old stuff by My Life with the Thrill Kill Cult, and they had a dual single with KMFDM, where they both remixed each other's tracks. The Thrill Kill Cult remix of the KMFDM, these were both on the same single, mind you.

The Thrill Kill Cult remix of the KMFDM song is on Spotify, but the KMFDM remix of the Thrill Kill Cult song, which is the one I really like, is not. So, what the, there's no rhyme or reason.

They were the same single. They were on the same CD, released by the same record label. Oh, God. It makes no sense. Well, quick aside, did you see that Ministry is touring with KMFDM and Frontline Assembly next year? I did, and if it's sponsored by Spotify, who knows what they're going to actually be able to play.

They'll play half the songs. Oh, God, yeah, it's the 30th anniversary tour of A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste. Which is by far their best album. Absolutely. I friggin' love that. I wouldn't even go see Ministry anymore because I just haven't followed them and I don't really care for much of their later work, but that album is so killer.

I want to go see that show. Yeah, it's probably going to be pretty good. I saw them at Riot Fest not too long ago, so I don't feel the need to go see them again and leave my house. Right. But they were great. They were fantastic. Anyway, getting back to the story. So I wake up with these random earworms all the time of just random songs, like almost every day.

Some weird shit from my past. I don't know. Maybe it's the CBD that's giving me crazy dreams. But I woke up and I really wanted to hear People Are Strange by Echo and the Bunnymen, the version that is on the Lost Boys soundtrack. That's a great cover. That specific version. I like the regular version too.

Can't be found. Can't be found anywhere. That is the one track that is gone from all of the Lost Boys soundtracks. I'm like, why? Why? One song. It's why? And so I checked everything. Nope, not to be found. Checked my iTunes library back on my, you know, ape-like spinning platter.

Not there. Only place I could find it was an illegal copy uploaded to YouTube. Yep. That's where I found my Thrill Kill Cult remix too. That's it. Yep. That's why they are the largest streaming music platform in the world. Yes. Anyway, so I ripped it and put it back in my iTunes library.

Thank you, Audio Hijack. That's one of the best apps ever. Now, I saw some comedy on Netflix that I want to talk about real quick. I saw Ronnie Chang on Netflix. Did you see that one? I did. I watched it at your recommendation. Very, very funny. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

The first seven minutes, I think, were lifted directly from our show, though. Yeah. All his tech rants were pretty much straight up us, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I highly recommend that one. And I didn't, I never saw this one. I didn't know it was out. Ricky Gervais' Humanity. I talked about it on this very show, Jason.

Yeah. I, well, I never listen to anything you say, and I forget everything we talk about as soon as we hit stop. Yeah. Me too. My roommate and I watched it over the last two nights. Damn, that was good. Yeah. It's very funny. Gervais is just the best at what he does, which is this, fuck you. I don't care. I'm going to make the jokes and fuck you.

And they're great. Yeah. It's great when you have the, I don't give a shit attitude. Yeah. Yeah. Because he does have fuck you money, so he doesn't have to. I watched him on the Golden Globes because I had it on the DVR. I went and watched it. It was, nah, it was okay. It wasn't his best, I thought. But anyway, the comedy special, the comedy special was pretty damn good.

I thought his opening monologue for the Golden Globes was awesome because he just ripped everybody a new a-hole. It was great. I think it, I thought it was just too short. Yeah, me too. It was really way too short. Well, he wanted a full stand-up show instead of just a monologue. Absolutely. He could have just done all of that and then just told us who won at the end.

I'm fine with that. I'd be fine with that, too. I'd watch an award show if they did that. Yeah. As soon as the monologue was over, I'm like, delete. I'm done. And I finished Messiah on Netflix. You know, it's going against my rule. I didn't wait until they had three seasons. I did watch just the first season.

But I have to say, they stuck the landing for the first season. I don't know if they're going to be able to stick the landing for the show as a whole, but I thoroughly enjoyed the first season of the show. Okay. I will check it out for sure. And at my wife's demand, I've started to watch Secession on HBO.

It's awesome. It's one of the best shows on TV, man. I mean, you know, it's got to be pretty easy to write. Just see what the Trump brothers are doing and write to that. It's more about, what's his name? The Fox guy. Roger Ailes. No, no, no.

The other one. The guy that founded it. What's the Australian dude? Rupert Murdoch. Murdoch. This is more like the Murdoch. It's like the Murdochs meet the Trumps, I think. It really is. So, yeah. I'm just waiting for them to write in a second daughter that he never pays attention to. Next season on Secession.

Yeah, it's pretty good. It's pretty good. It's cutting. It's funny. My wife keeps looking at me going, this is supposed to be a comedy, right? I'm like, yeah. Yeah, it's a comedy. Did you finish the whole thing yet? Are you caught up? No, no.

We're not running through it. Like maybe one episode every other night. So, it's pretty good. Yeah, it goes all the way. I mean, the first two seasons are pretty just stellar. I cannot wait for the season. Oh, geez. There are two seasons already? I thought it was only on the first. Okay. No, no. Yeah, we found out about it when we saw the posters for the second season.

And we're like, let's add it to the thing so we can watch. And we found out there was a first season. So, we binged the first season and then watched the second season in real time. And it was fantastic, man. You're going to love it all the way through. Excellent. Really looking forward to it. And speaking of shows that I enjoy, I've got some premiere info.

Some shows are coming back finally. I've really liked Grace and Frankie. I can't believe that it's on the sixth season already. That comes back basically the day this comes out, January 15th. So, yay. It feels like it's been over a year since I've seen an episode of Better Call Saul. Better Call Saul Season 5 is premiering on February 23rd.

Very excited. That's coming back. You know what's funny? I read that article that you linked in here. Yeah. I never, I mean, I watched every episode of Breaking Bad twice. I've watched Better Call Saul since it started. I never put together that Saul Goodman was, it's all good, man.

I never put that together, ever. Really? Nope. Yeah. Wow. Nope. I'm slow. I'm slow. Okay. Yeah. Wow. I'm a little stunned. Okay. All right. Moving on, Brian. Westworld Season 3 premiering March 15th.

Very much looking forward to this. I love the first two seasons of Westworld and I can't wait to see how they reinvent the show this time around. Looking forward to that. Do we have new showrunners this time or is it still the same crew? I don't know. Oh, no. Yeah. I don't care. I'll still watch it. Yeah. I'm going to watch it regardless, so.

Yeah. And Ozark Season 3 comes back to Netflix on March 27th. Seriously, looking forward to that one. All right. And, of course, we have Picard premiering January 23rd. So, time to fire up your CBS subscriptions. Warm them up. Warm them up. I predict that they will have record numbers of subscribers.

That's a little callback there for people that listen to all the shows. And they have already picked up Picard for a second season. Well, of course they have. If he's willing to do it, they'll take as many seasons as he'll do. Seriously. And, yeah, I'm definitely looking forward to it. Yeah.

And one thing, because we've been spending so much time talking about Star Wars recently, there is some news in the Star Trek universe beyond the TV shows. They have basically dropped the J.J. Abrams universe. That is gone. We will not be getting any more movies with that cast or with that timeline, I think.

So, I think that that is a dead-end timeline now. Okay. Well, we've got enough of them now. Just pick a timeline. It doesn't matter. Make your own up. Who cares? We've got a new movie that's been greenlit by Paramount coming from Noah Hawley, who did Fargo. And he's a longtime Star Trek fan, and he plans to have his own take on it.

He said that the new characters often involve a new cast, so the cast will not be back, which is fine by me because I didn't care where they were going with it. And it sounds like this Noah Hawley guy, from what I've been reading about it, wants to take it back to the original roots of Star Trek, which is more about relationships and all of that, and less action filmy, which I'm very happy about.

Okay. We'll see how that goes. Yep. So we've got to cast another Kirk now. Oh, Jesus Christ. Okay. Can we get a goateed Kirk this time? Maybe it can be... The whole thing can be in an alternate universe. Oh, wait, you're doing that on Discovery. Never mind. I have a really great idea for CBS, since you've already brought back Patrick Stewart and Picard.

I want an old Kirk show. Just put Shatner in a chair, in his outfit, and have a bitch about what's going on with Starfleet. I would watch the shit out of that. Or we could do like, you know, we could just put all the Kirks in a house and make a reality show out of it.

Ooh, yes. Yeah, it's like, hey, do the dishes. Call it the Kirks. Make it so. Yeah, exactly. They all just yell commands at each other, and nobody actually does anything in the house. Chris Pine is just sitting there slowly growing out a beard. And Shatner just rolls in with like green chicks every now and again.

That'd be awesome. Brian, have you ever heard of Tim Draper? I know Don Draper. Yes, this is not Don Draper. Oh, okay. Tim Draper is a famed venture capitalist. Obviously not that famed.

Well, he, there's two things that he did that you might remember. Tried to break off California, split up California to North and South. Remember that one? I vaguely remember that, yes. The other one that you will remember, though, is Theranos. He was a big backer of Theranos. Okay. Well, apparently, somebody has been slipping three-year-old computer magazines into his breakfast table when he's eating, eating his, you know, Wheaties or whatever, because I get this.

Tim Draper believes that Bitcoin and blockchain and artificial intelligence will disrupt major industries, including healthcare, finance, and government. Somebody call 2017 and tell him they forgot Tim Draper. They need to bring him back. All righty.

Well, that's not going to happen, but hey, he's got to lose some, right? He's betting big on Bitcoin and has been investing in Bitcoin and blockchain-related startups. He's getting them for a steal because they're all, none of them have made any money and they're just like, you know, shells of corporations lying around. It's a steal.

Right. And, you know, I think we had attempted to ban Goop from Moron of the Week, but we just can't stop. Oh, no, no, no. We can't. We can't on this one. Since everybody sent us this link, Gwyneth Paltrow is selling a candle that smells like her vagina. Yeah, you cannot throw a rock without seeing this on TV.

No, you can't. My only question is, is this steamed or pre or post steamed? Because she had her vagina steaming. I'd prefer to know which candle I'm getting. Opportunity to market both. That is a market opportunity. Add a new skew for that. And we got some other people sent this in.

Derek writes in, this should be illegal. And it's Goops' Netflix trailer. And I watched the trailer. Brian, I think this is going to have to be a hate watch. Really? It might be. At this point, everything with Gwyneth Paltrow is a hate watch.

That's true. That's true. Even on The Chef Show. I had to skip that episode because like three minutes in, I'm like, no, we're not doing this. I can't with her anymore. I can't. I don't care that she may be a good actress or was a good actress once. I just can't. I know.

I try and separate the Gwyneths. Because I love Shakespeare in Love. I thought that was a great movie. Now go back and realize that she's selling candles that smell of her vagina. Me doth have candle. Smells like me hoo-ha. Daryl also sent us a link to the Late Show clip with Stephen Colbert about it.

And at least Stephen is, you know, calling her bullshit, which is good. Good. Yeah. And a hat tip to a friend of the show, Mike, for the last moron of the week, Subaru. Subaru claims they had nothing to do with the not safe for work name of one of their models that appeared in an Asian auto show.

Yes. The company apologized for a model that went by the name Forrester Ultimate Customized Kit special or the fucks edition. What are you going to do, man? This is English. This is all English. They said it's not their fault and an unspecified retailer must have done this.

An unspecified retailer named their car. I don't know. Okay. No fucks are given. Feedback loop. We've got some Patreon subscribers, Brian. A miracle.

Thank you so much. We like that platform, everyone. Yeah. Brian and Phil. Phil says, hi, guys. Just a small donation to say thanks for the show. It keeps me entertained whilst I dodge the many, many electric scooters that have infested the streets of Barcelona, where I work. Stay grumpy. Barcelona. Barcelona.

Yes. And over at PayPal, we got Andrew, Linda, Art, Ralph, Adam, Mark, Chris, Michael, and Adam, who says, been listening since the AOC days, and it's always the first thing I listen to when there's a new episode. Great job on the show. Well, thank you very much, everybody. And especially, thank you, Adam and Phil.

Now, Phil, stay safe. Seriously. Stay safe. You should just wear a helmet on the street in Barcelona, because that way, if they hit you, you don't get, you don't get Dane Bramage and have to go to the emergency room. Right. I don't know if they had, do they have a socialized medicine? Pretty sure they have socialized medicine. Okay. That's what I was wondering. Okay.

Then fuck him. He can do whatever he wants. Over at Twitter, David writes in, I've always found that replacement third-party iPhone batteries are never as good as the original. Not as good capacity from day one and degrade quickly. Hmm. I don't know. Mine's working fine. Is it working okay?

Yeah. All right. Karthik writes in, a note on the service thing. I got it on New Year's Eve on my iPhone 8, was thinking going to my Apple store, but then checked the battery count via Mac app and found out it was only on 300 cycles. I will just wait till iPhone 12 comes out and give my 8 away to someone. There you go.

All right. There you go. And John, and also Ralph sent this one in, the Internet of Starch. Somebody snuck a potato into CES 2020 to make a scathing point about useless smart gadgets. Pretty funny. Yes. Yes. They put an antenna in a potato.

And it was pretty good. It was pretty good. But now there's an Indiegogo campaign for the potato. Of course. Might as well make a buck or two off of it. Yep. Yep. It says, if we get to $100,000, we will go to potato blockchain. Excellent. She could have called it chip chain. Pringle chain.

Look, I'm already doing marketing for you. And Matthew sent in a link from the Lad Bible. Man becomes first person to be convicted of drunk driving on an electric scooter. Now, I don't throw the word hero around lightly. But this man is a hero. Good job. Which man? The man who got arrested and sentenced?

Yes. Why is he a hero? You're using the scooter the way it should be used, to get your ass home from drinking. Yeah, but it's illegal. Illegal shmeagle. It's also illegal to ride them without a helmet. It's also illegal to have three people on them. It's also illegal to ride on the bike path. It's also illegal to ride out in the street.

But I see all of that every day. No fucks given, Jason. He also ran into a motorcyclist couple. Okay, that's not good. And injured them. All right. See, maybe I've used hero too strongly. Yeah, I was going to say. I was like, hmm. I didn't actually read the article. Okay.

There we go. All is explained. Because I thought, I'm like the potato guy is more of a hero than this asshole. That's true. All right. My bad for not reading the article. Just the headline. Okay. You know, I do what everybody does. Just read the headline. That's right. Click bait, Brian.

That's it. And Mustafa writes in, a little overproduced for a simple Chinese farm girl with a YouTube channel, which is government sanctioned and 50 million plus subscribers on diverse platforms. But it looks nice and calming. Maybe Jason will feel inspired to launch his gardening channel. And this is a link from Oddity Central.

How a young Chinese girl living in rural China became an international internet sensation. Now, I'm down, except I'm in L.A. and the rats eat everything we plant. So my gardening channel might be more like the movie Ben, more than anything else. Me like wrangling the rats. But I watched some of the videos.

They're really well produced. They are extremely well produced. It really helps that she's unbelievably hot. So I can see that, you know. I did find it calming. How do you have rats when you have two gigantic dogs? Palm trees. They come out.

The rats only come out at night. So they come down from the palm trees and they eat all of the stuff that I plant. I've never been able to make. I planted multiple tomato plants, all these other things. I even got the hanging tomato thing that you see on late night TV. And they still got into that. There's nothing you can do.

There's nothing you can do. Greg writes in, Graphic Converter by Lemke Software is still in active development and can do lots of the jobs DeBabbalizer could do. It was my go-to tool when I was running websites. And he provides a link to Graphic Converter 11. It's made by the Germans, so it must be good. Seth writes in, The Lioness 2 Vibrator adds AI-assisted orgasms to its feature set.

Didn't we have the AI blowjob machine too? The Autoblow 72 with AI. So you can get a girlfriend, get her the vibrator, you get the autoblow, and you never have to have sex with each other again. Yeah, it makes watching shows on Netflix much easier because you can pay attention to the show.

Now, here's what I like about it. So they're using things like measuring body heat and pelvic floor motions to track arousal, orgasm, and everything in between. Now, you'd think that it would have a microphone so it could at least analyze your heavy breathing to see what's really working because that's how humans have to do it.

But they are saying that all of the Lioness Generation 2 software updates will also come to the Generation 1. We know this is a premium device and want people to be able to use what they already have with ongoing new features and functionality for years to come. Now, you see, they're doing it right.

You don't have to go buy a new one just to get all the benefits of the software update. How nice of them. It's only a matter of time until they charge a subscription, and you know it. I bet there already is a subscription. I didn't do that. It's free, Jason. No, it's not.

You always pay. You always pay. Yes. And Eric writes in with a link and says, science! And this is from Ars Technica. With ingestible pill, you can track fart development in real time on your phone. Jesus Christ. The Internet of Poop is back.

Oh, boy. Over at GOG.show, Brett says, regarding 3D movies, you should watch House of Wax. I believe this was the first and is brilliant. Mind you, you'll need the old red and green glasses for it. Keep up the great work. All the best. Thank you. James writes in, hi, Jason.

You asked for a good co-op game to play with Jordan on the Xbox. Try the following. Rainbow Six Siege. There goes 100 hours of your life. Diablo 3 Ultimate Evil. Something outside of the FPS genre. Strange Brigade Dying Light 2. Yeah, I know. It's got zombies. Bro Force.

Bro Force. Oh, and just one more game for you, Jason. River City Girls. Check out the reviews by your antithesis, a 46-year-old Canadian, called Happy Console Gamer. Super fun in co-op. You know, for me, that was like reading ingredients off of something, because I have no idea about the gaming world at all.

I'm like, Strange Brigade Dying Light 2. Okay. You're like an actor on Star Trek for the first time trying to read the techno babble. Yes. We must do the flux capacitor. Oh, man. Yeah, I checked out a couple of these, and what I really like is, I think it's Bro Force and River City Girls are like 8-bit.

They're like retro games. So they look pretty cool. We're definitely going to check them out. Jordan and I have a list now, a shared list of all these games that people send us. I really wish. I appreciate it. I really wish Trump would have gone with Bro Force instead of Space Force. Oh, man. Well. Missed opportunity again. Well, you can always rebrand.

You can always rebrand. And Dan says, you mentioned Tyke for plain text copy and paste. Are you aware that you can do this with a built-in key command? Command option shift V will paste your clipboard as plain text. Well, I do know that, but it's not universal. So you do have to go into settings and go to the keyboard settings and create your own map for that.

And then it can override different apps, which I've had to do in Opera, I believe, and a couple other apps. But the thing is, since it's not universal, I mean, when it works, it works. Tyke, the beauty of Tyke is that I can paste a URL or a piece of text in Tyke, work on it, and then cut it and paste it back out when I'm done.

Because when we're copying hyperlinks for the URLs for the show, they've got all the tracking crap, the gobbledygook after the query string that we want to pull out. Because when we paste it into our show notes, it auto-links a URL. That actually reminds me, Jason. There was a plugin for Chrome that actually stripped all that stuff when you copied your links.

And I had it for a while, and it went away, and I don't know why, probably when I did some update or something like that. But I've got to track that down again, because it's super useful, because we can just grab all that crap and strip it when we're putting in the notes to begin with. Never worked for me. I had it. It never worked. I think that's why it went away, because it never worked.

Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. But I'm also copying things out of Reader, and Reader tacks on its own query strings and just blah, blah, blah. It's a mess. But in concert, those two things are fantastic. Yes. There you go.

Amanda writes in, Jason, thank you so much for your information about Apple Reminders versus Things. After running them side-by-side for several days, I have booted things from the Amandasphere. I like that. The Amandasphere. Since this saved me a nice chunk of money next update cycle, I'll pass some of it along by adjusting my Patreon upwards.

Have a grumpy 2020. Thank you. We'll have a less grumpy 2020, since you will be giving us more money. Yes. Appreciate it. Kyle writes in, greetings. I've been listening for about three months now, and your pod has quickly gone from a random one I found on Overcast to the top of my playlist. See, people? Clicking those Overcast stars really does help.

I told you it does. Kyle goes on, I started listening around the time that Jason got an Apple Watch. At the time, I was also debating on getting an Apple Watch, as I heard that the Series 5 may finally be worth it. After hearing his semi-review, I decided to take the dive. Gotta say, I'm loving my Apple Watch.

I was planning on wearing both my Fitbit Charge 3 and the Apple Watch for a few weeks just to smooth out the transition, but that lasted only about two days because I was so satisfied with it. Thanks for that final push off the edge. Jason, you're welcome, Kyle. And Kyle goes on to say, well, I may not always agree with you.

I love The Last Jedi and Lego Movie 2. I love all the snark. It's also been a long time since I heard someone reference Winamp. Keep up the good work and stay grumpy. We shall. P.S. It keeps on going. Okay. P.S. Be careful on that keto diet. The idea is good for short-term, but long-term effects are spotty.

It can help you drop weight fast, but the idea of losing weight is to make it a consistent and sustainable lifestyle change. I've had friends who have experienced some bad side effects, like really bad bloody noses because they were really hardcore with their keto diet. I'm a believer in not just dropping weight, but being healthy. Don't focus on just the numbers.

Focus on how your body feels. Enjoy everything in moderation and get a daily long walk. I typically listen to your pods on my long walks. Sometimes take a fasting day once a month or even once a week. Don't mean to be preachy, or maybe I do, but just want you guys to be healthy. Well, thank you, Kyle. Thank you, Kyle.

We appreciate that. Let me refer you back to many of our episodes. Eggs are good. Eggs are bad. You know? So find something that works for you. And right now, it's working for me. All my clothes are feeling looser, so it's nice. All right. There you have it. Over at iTunes, we have a five-star review from Nick01001.

Perfect tech show for the new and old grumpy old geeks. I started listening to the show a couple of months ago and been working my way through the backlog of old episodes. Even though I am new to the tech field and almost 20 years younger than Jason and Brian. Oh my God, we're so old. I still relate so much to many of their themes and thoughts. I spent a lot of time in the car listening to their shows and honestly feel that their insights have helped me immerse myself in the world of tech in ways in which I never quite have before.

Their reporting of news while moderately opinionated. That's the whole point of a podcast. I like to remind everybody of that. Never seems to tell you how to feel about it and instead gives you their thoughts as people that have been there, done that. I also thoroughly enjoy their media suggestions such as books and TV shows. And I found myself keeping a list of things to check out after particularly passionate episodes such as the books Damon and Freedom by Daniel Suarez.

Keep up the good work and as always, stay grumpy. I don't feel like anybody 20 years younger than me should be driving. Shouldn't you be in a stroller? Do the math on this, Brian. That person is almost 30 years old. I know, I know.

Almost 30. Oh my God. Yeah. One foot in the grave. And Digital Cal writes in with five stars, grumpy, furry, and geekier than you can imagine. The header says it all. Listen to this podcast or the fur mafia will find you. Thank you, Digital Cal. Another five-star rating from GenWin57.

I can't wait until we're on Windows 57. That'll be awesome. The best tech podcast. This is a very enjoyable podcast that keeps me informed on the latest trends in technology. I really like the cybersecurity discussions. Stay grumpy. And Sloan Jorbe from Great Britain writes in with five stars, get them in your ears now.

I've been following the show for years. Some reviews moan about their point of view and if you agree with them or not, they're still the funniest show with the best info on all things grumpy. All the best with Canada. Please don't stop. This is the only show that keeps me laughing at work. Well, we'll see. It's up to Brian.

I don't intend to stop. Just maybe not twice a week. Five-star rating from Jorge Mendoza. Best tech podcast Gen X available. Fun and easy to learn. Even easier way to get up to date about the tech news. So thank you for all your five-star ratings. We really appreciate it.

Yes, many this time. It was good. If you want your question or comment right on the show, head over to gog.show slash contact and send us your feedback or questions that we can read on the air. And if you're so inclined, please head over to gog.show slash iTunes and toss us a five-star and snarky review. And if you really like us, head over to gog.show slash donate.

And also, if you're listening to us on the Overcast player, click that little star next to the episode. It really helps us out, as we have seen firsthand in this episode. Thank you. Closing shout outs! Shout out to Neil Peart, drummer and lyricist of Rush, who has passed away at 67.

I had the pleasure of working with Rush and meeting Neil a handful of times. Wonderful guy. Rush isn't my cup of tea musically, but you cannot deny the genius of his drumming. You said his name was Neil Peart. Everybody calls him Neil Peart. It is not Peart. It is Peart.

Yes, it is. You learn something new every day. Just like, it's all good, man. Just go back and watch I Love You, Man. They pronounce it right in the show. Okay. And a shout out to Sir Patrick Stewart for getting his day in cement at the Chinese theater. He got his hands and feet done yesterday.

It's pretty cool. So CBS parted with some cash. Apparently. Apparently. Until next time, I'm Jason DeFillippo. And I'm Brian Schulmeister. Thanks for listening to Grumpy Old Geeks. To support the show and keep us on the air, go to gog.show slash donate. Toss us a few bucks and we'll love you forever.

A lot of people are doing that eight bucks a month. That's a buck an episode. Love that. Your support really keeps us going and we really appreciate it. Show notes for this episode are at gog.show slash 406. From there, you can find links to old episodes, leave feedback, ask questions, donate to the show, and get links to stuff we like.

Stay grumpy vagina, Campbell. Show notes for this episode are at gog.show. At QVC, fall shopping is more than just checking out. It's discovering the brands you love across beauty, fashion, home, and culinary all in one place.

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